Save Me from Myself
by elvin-warrior-princess
Summary: Hermione is dealing with too many things. She needs help. Will she find it in unexpected places? last chppy updated because of error...new one up soon!
1. Long Black Train

**_Save Me from Myself_**

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Ok, I don't own Harry Potter. I do not claim to be that much of a literary genius. The plot, and the plot alone, is mine. Everything else belongs JK Rowling._

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**_Author's Comments: _**_Please read and review. For those of you who have read my other stories, I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever. I promise I will. I'm having writer's block with them, though. Comments very welcome. If you criticize, please don't be cruel. Thanks._

**_Summary: _**_Okay, here's the scoop. This is my first Draco/Hermione fic, so I hope you all like it. Anyway, Hermione is battling with a lot of things, and she can't take it anymore. It's the 7th year, and someone unexpected comes to her rescue. I wonder who that could be. LOL. Well, here's the story._

**Chapter One: Long Black Train**

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          Hermione was walking through the train station with her trolley. She reached the barrier to Platform 9 ¾. She looked around cautiously and then ran towards the barrier. She was soon on the platform. She smiled as she saw the familiar black train that would take her to Hogwarts, her home.

            She had changed a lot over the summer. Her hair was no longer bushy. It was sleek and shiny, and reached just past her shoulders. She had finally filled out. She was very beautiful. She even wore make-up. Hermione had felt that the change was necessary.

            She was walking towards the luggage carrier when she was embraced from behind with strong yet gentle arms. She turned and smiled at her best friend, Harry Potter. The-Boy-Who-Lived had changed a lot too. His changes were due to the fact that in 6th year, Sirius had miraculously returned and was proven innocent.

            Harry was able to move in with Sirius, and the two of them had become closer than family, if such a thing is possible. Harry had finally grown and was now 6'5". Because he was training for the war with Voldemort, his muscles were more firm.

                        "How are you, Harry?" Hermione asked.

                        "Great, except for the ever threatening presence of Voldemort. You?"

                        "Oh, pretty good. It's so good to see you. Is Ron here?"

                        "Yeah. He went to find us a compartment. It's great to see you too. You've changed a lot." He looked her up and down.

                        "Yeah, well, I wanted to do something different. Did I tell you I was made Head Girl?"

                        "You were? That's great! Do you know who the Head Boy is?"

                        "No, but I'm sure we'll get along fine. Oh, that reminds me. I have to share a compartment on the train with whoever the Head Boy is. I won't be able to sit with you."

                        "Really? That sucks."

                        "Yeah, but I'll come and see you all after I make a patrol of the train. Okay?"

                        "Okay. Well, I'd better get on the train. I'll see you later 'Mione!"

                        "Bye Harry."

            Hermione set off towards the other end of the train. Her smile had vanished after Harry had gone. She felt guilty for lying to him. She wasn't doing okay. She sighed as she reached the Head Boy and Girl compartment and opened the door. The Head Boy was already there.

                        "It can't be!" she exclaimed, exasperated.

                        "It's nice to see you too, Granger," said the Head Boy, who was none other than Draco Malfoy.

                        "Y-you're the Head Boy?" Hermione stammered.

                        "Yep. Get used to it."

            With that, he went back to the book he was reading. Hermione slumped herself in a seat on the other end of the compartment, by the window. She pulled a book and a CD player out of her bag.

                        "_Musica enchanto_," she muttered.

            Music filled her ears through her headphones, and she lost herself in the music and her new book. She had started reading fiction. She didn't realize that a certain platinum-blonde haired boy was staring curiously at her over the pages of his book.

            Draco was infuriated that Hermione Granger was the Head Girl, but he wasn't surprised. He figured she would be. What _did _surprise him was her appearance. Her hair was no longer bushy. Her body was no longer flat and without curves. Her clothing style had changed also.

            She was wearing tight black pants with a read tank top. Her sandals were red like her shirt. The curious thing about her wardrobe was the fact that she was wearing black elbow-high gloves. Draco shrugged. _Granger still has to have something weird about her,_ he thought. When she looked up, Draco quickly went back to reading his book.

            About halfway through the trip, Hermione walked out of the compartment and went to find Harry and Ron. She found them in the very last one. She walked in with a smile on her face. They both smiled when she walked in.

                        "So, Hermione, who's the Head Boy?" asked Harry with an eyebrow raised.

                        "No one important," she replied with a shrug.

                        "C'mon 'Mione," urged Ron, "Tell us."

                        "Fine. It's our favorite little ferret," she said nonchalantly.

                        "_Malfoy_?" Both Harry and Ron asked at once.

                        "Yes. But he hasn't said anything to me, so neither of you need come to my rescue."

                        "Hermione, this isn't good. You know that you both have your own place now, common room and everything, right?"

                        "I'm well aware of that, Harry. But, don't worry. I'm not the same defenseless person I used to be, and I can handle him. Besides, I have my two best friends in the whole world to look out for me." She put an arm around the two of them.

            The three of them talked for a while, and then Hermione said she needed to get back to her own compartment. Leaving them was hard. She always felt better being with them.

            Settling back in her seat by the window, Hermione put her headphones back on and closed her eyes. The loud alternative music was a comfort to her. When she opened her eyes again, it was dark outside, and she noticed that the Slytherin Prince was asleep.

            _Funny_, Hermione thought, _he almost looks human when he's sleeping. I guess he is one of the reasons that people say that looks can be deceiving. _Hemrione changed CDs and closed her eyes again.

            Draco opened his eyes and saw the Golden Girl asleep by the window. _Look at that. Granger actually looks peaceful. Usually the bloody bookworm looks like she's about to have a nervous breakdown._ As he watched her sleep, he saw her face scrunch up into a deep frown. Not knowing what he was doing, her walked over and put a hand on her head. Her face relaxed.

            Draco walked back to his seat and slumped down. _What is wrong with me? Did I just actually _comfort _Her-Granger? Wait. Did I just almost think of her as Hermione? I need another nap. That's it. It will all be back to normal when I wake up again. _Draco closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

            She had the nightmare again. Only, this time, it was stopped in the middle of it. She didn't know what happened. She was having the nightmare, and then she felt all peaceful and safe. She opened her eyes.

            Hermione saw her arch nemesis still asleep. The only difference was that his position had changed. Before, he had been lying across the whole bench. Looking at him, she noticed that he was slumped against the wall of the compartment.

            She shook her head. She thought back and remembered her nightmare. It angered and scared her. She had to escape. She turned the volume all the way up on her CD player and switched it to the song "Just Like You" by 3 Days Grace. She sat back and mouthed the words:

_I could be mean, I could be angry_

_You know I could be just like you_

_I could be fake, I could be stupid_

_You know I could be just like you_

_You thought you were standing beside me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_You thought you were there to guide me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_You thought you were there to guide me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_I could be cold, I could be ruthless_

_You know I could be just like you_

_I could be weak, I could be senseless_

_You know I could be just like you_

_You thought you were standing beside me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_You thought you were there to guide me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_You thought you were there to guide me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_On my own cause I can't stand livin' with you_

_I'm alone, so I won't turn out like you want me to_

_You thought you were standing beside me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_You thought you were there to guide me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_You thought you were there to guide me_

_You were only in my way_

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_I could be mean, I could be angry_

_You know I could be just like you_

            She felt better after listening to the song. Her mind started to clear a little. Hermione knew that they would be at Hogsmeade Station soon, so she thought it best to wake up the Head Boy.

            She walked over to him and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. Nothing. She gently shook his shoulder. He stirred a little. She shook him a little harder. He opened his eyes.

                        "What do you want, Granger? I was sleeping."

                        "I thought I should wake you, Malfoy. We'll be there soon, and it's our job to get all of the others to Hagrid and onto the carriages."

                        He stretched. "Oh. Well, thanks."

            This shocked Hermione. Draco Malfoy was thanking her? _Draco Malfoy _was _thanking her_? This was a new and rather confusing development. _Maybe he's just tired_, she thought hopefully.

            The train started to slow down, and Hermione and Draco walked out onto the platform as the train came to a halt. Hermione saw Harry and Ron and waved to them. They waved back and got into a carriage. As soon as everyone else was on their way to the castle, Draco and Hermione took the last carriage. They spent the short trip each lost in their own thoughts.

**_Ending Comments: _**_Okay. There's the first chapter. Not as long as the others will be, but you can't do a whole lot with a train ride. Hope you all enjoyed it. R&R please!_


	2. Food, Dorms, and Nightmarish Secrets

**_Save Me from Myself_**

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Again, I only own the plot._

**_Author's Notes: _**_Well, here's the next chapter! There is some self-mutilation in the next few chapters. It is brief, and won't last through the whole story._

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**Chapter Two: Food, Dorms, and Nightmarish Secrets**

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            Hermione sat beside Harry and Ron during the feast. Just being back in the Great Hall brought peace to her. She smiled as Ron waited impatiently for the sorting to begin so that it could end. The sorting hat had a new song. It was very different. Even Ron paid attention to it.

_Listen all who hear my song_

_The war has started_

_It won't be long_

_I have sorted many_

_Throughout the years_

_So listen to my song_

_Listen to my fears_

_I was created by the Founders Four_

_I was made to sort, but also_

_So much more_

_I will sort you where you belong_

_I want you to know, that I am never wrong_

_But now's the time_

_To stop the fights_

_And the cries that fill the nights_

_One must join as one and all_

_You must do it soon, within the hall_

_The war has started_

_It won't be long_

_Before we find out _

_Who was wrong_

_Now you have been told_

_So, let the sorting now unfold_

            It was short and to the point, and Hermione, Ron, and Harry intrigued. Soon, however, both Harry and Ron remembered their growling stomachs, and their interest in the sorting was gone. They both quietly applauded when it was over.

            When the sorting was over, Dumbledore stood to make some announcements.

                        "Welcome one and all to another year at Hogwarts. Firstly, the Forbidden Forest is off-limits. Secondly, Mr. Filch would like me to remind you of all the things not permitted in the corridors. Seeing as how there are so many, the list is posted on his office door. I am proud to announce that our Head Boy is Draco Malfoy," applause mainly from Slytherins, "and our Head Girl is Hermione Granger." Applause came from everyone but the Slytherins. "Finally," continued Dumbledore, "we have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. He was not feeling well this evening, and you will therefore meet him tomorrow. Well, now that all the business is finished, tuck in."

            With a clap of his hands, the tables magically filled with all finds of delicious foods. Hermione didn't feel very hungry, so she had two chicken legs and a small side of mashed potatoes with gravy. Harry and Ron were grabbing everything in sight. Hermione smiled in remembrance of how many times they had done this.

            Soon, the feast was over. Hermione was glad. She was ready to go to bed. Dumbledore announced that he would like her and Draco to stay afterwards. So, she said goodbye to her friends and reluctantly walked to the Head Table.

            Draco walked up to the Head Table and met Hermione with his trademark smirk. The two of them stood in front of the table waiting for Dumbledore to finish speaking with Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall. Draco was tired and bored. He wanted to slip into bed and fall asleep. He stole a quick glance at Hermione. She looked like she felt the same way.

                        "I'm certain you two are very pleased at having been picked for the Head positions," Dumbledore said to them.

                        "Yes, professor," they said in unison.

                        "I know that you two are not as pleased at who you will be living with. However, as Hogwarts top students, you rightfully received these positions. Therefore, I want it made perfectly clear that you two _will _try and act civilly towards each other, especially in front of the others. I don't care if you like each other, but you will respect each other. Is that clear?"

                        "Yes, sir," they both muttered.

                        "Right then. Shall we proceed to your dormitory?"

                        "Yes, sir."

            They were lead out of the Great Hall and down a corridor that they had never been down before. They stopped in front of an older portrait. There was a beautiful girl on it. She had long black hair, and charcoal eyes. A snake was wrapped around her neck, and a lion was at her feet. _How appropriate_, Draco scoffed to himself.

                        "This is the portrait leading to your common room and adjoining rooms. You can also reach your house common rooms through other portraits in your rooms. The password is 'Serpentine Bravery.' Goodnight."

                        "Goodnight, sir," said Hermione.

                        "Serpentine Bravery," said Draco.

            The two walked in, and Hermione went straight upstairs. _Weird_, thought Draco. _I expected her to spend the whole night admiring the room. It really isn't bad._ And it was nice. There were two sofas, one red and the other silver. The Gryffindor and Slytherin colors were nicely slashed together in all of the décor. _I wonder why Granger didn't stay to look at the books_.

            Hermione had run up the stairs and into her room. She didn't stop to look at the décor in the common room, and she didn't pay much notice to anything in her own room. For some reason, seeing that portrait had brought back memories of her nightmare. She hated it. She knew Draco was probably laughing at her, but she didn't care.

            Hermione threw herself onto the large bed. It was soft and warm, and her nerves calmed as her head hit the big pillows. She soon fell asleep. But, as always, her sleep was riddled with tossing and turning, and finally, her nightmare. Her soft face scrunched with fear. She sat up and screamed at the top of her lungs, and then she fell to her pillows and began thrashing around as though trying to fend off something.

            Because she was asleep, she didn't know that her scream had reached the ears of Draco Malfoy, who had fallen asleep on the sofa, reading a book.

            He heard the scream. It startled him out of a fitful sleep. It took him a moment to realize that it was the Head Girl who was screaming. Not really knowing why, Draco ran up the steps. He ran into Hermione's room and saw what he never expected to see from her.

            Hermione, the Golden Girl, the Head Girl, the Mudblood, was thrashing around and screaming in her bed. Her face was contorted with fear. Draco had never seen anything like that before in his life, except from his mother. It scared him.

            He didn't know what compelled him to do it, but he walked cautiously over to Hermione and gently put a hand on her head, as he had done on the train. She stopped screaming and rolling around, but her face was still filled with fear. He sat down beside her and ran his hand through her hair.

            Her face slowly relaxed. In spite of that fact, Draco continued to run his hand through her long, soft hair. He didn't really know why he was doing it. He suspected, though, that it was because this was what he did when his mother had a nightmare, and Lucius was out of the house.

            Hermione suddenly turned toward him, her eyes still closed. She smiled slightly. Draco smiled unconsciously. He released his hand from her hair and just watched her for a few moments. When he saw her eye lids start to flutter, he hastily left the room.

            Draco went into his own room and mentally smacked himself. Then, he literally smacked himself.

                        "What were you thinking? She's a mud-." He couldn't bring himself to say it. He had been able to think it before he'd gone into her room. Now he just couldn't do it. It was as though seeing her in a truly weak point, he saw that she was like everyone else, even like him.

            _I'm losing it. What is going on with me? I'm a _Malfoy. _Not that it really matters anymore. Lucius disgraced our name. Besides, I can't stand him anyway. What _is _going on with me? I must still be tired. That's it. Everything will be back to normal in the morning. _

Draco took off his shoes, socks, and shirt and got into bed. He soon fell asleep. He didn't even hear Hermione in her bathroom.

            Hermione never knew that it was Draco who had saved her from the monsters in her dream. His presence, though, was soothing and strong. When she felt it leave, though, she opened her eyes. She cried. She ran into the bathroom and sat on the floor. Tears were running down her face.

            Because she was still in her clothes, she reached into a little sheath hidden by her pants near her ankle and pulled out a small, yet rather sharp, knife. She pulled off the glove on her right arm and found a place for another cut.

            The feel of the blade digging into her skin was painful, but it was a good pain for Hermione. She watched as the blood flowed from her arm and onto the floor. After a minute, she pulled out her wand and muttered a spell. A bandange came out of her wand and wrapped itself around the wound.

            Hermione sighed and went back into her room. She changed into a black tank top and black pajama pants and got into bed. _Tomorrow, everything will get better. Everything will start to go back to the way it was before. I hope so, anyway._ With those last thoughts, Hermione fell into an almost fitful sleep.

**_Author's Comments: _**_Well, there it is. It didn't turn out as long as I wanted it to, but the next chapters will be. Or they should be anyways. Please R&R! I'll try and update the next chappy as soon as I can. I have finals this week, so I doubt anything new will come up until Friday. Thanks for reading!_


	3. Potions, Confusion, and the Continuing o...

**_Save Me from Myself_**

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Okay, you know that deal. JK Rowling owns the Harry Potter people. I just own the plot of this story._

**_Author's Comments: _**_Well, here is the next chapter everyone! Hope you all enjoy it! I should be updating almost daily this week. Hopefully, anyways._

**    tennisplaya287**_: Thanks for your comments. If the Express really is scarlet, than that is a fault on my part. I really like that song, Long Black Train, though. Thanks again, and I hope you keep reading._

** Blade McKay**_: Thanks for your comments. Here's the next chapter!_

** DragonSpirit7037**_: Thanks for you comments. I like to keep the reader in suspense about some things, and that is what the delaying of telling the dreams is all about. Glad you are enjoying the story so far!_

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**Chapter Three: Potions, Confusion, and the Continuing of Nightmarish Secrets**

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            When Hermione woke the next morning, she felt awful. She hadn't slept well, and it always made her feel terrible the following morning. She hesitantly crawled out of bed and went into the bathroom.

            The hot water felt marvelous to Hermione. The pulsing beat of the water on her shoulders and back slowly removed some of the tension she was holding. It was still rather early. Hermione liked it that way so she could have plenty of time for a relaxing shower.

            After her shower, she put on her school robes, which fit her better, and sat at the vanity. Pulling out a brush, she heard a girlish giggle behind her. She turned around, startled. Moaning Myrtle was floating in her bathroom.

                        "Hello, Myrtle," Hermione said politely.

                        "Since when do you have straight hair?" asked Myrtle.

                        "Since over the summer."

                        "And you wear make-up now?"

                        "Yes."

                        "Are you annoyed with me?" Myrtle asked sniffling.

                        "No, of course not. I'm merely trying to get ready for school. That's all," Hermione replied soothingly.

                        "Have you seen the really nice-looking guy in the other room?" Myrtle asked, changing the subject suddenly.

                        "You mean Draco Malfoy?" Hermione asked.

                        "If you mean that guy with the white blonde hair and piercing icy gray-blue eyes, then yes."

                        "Yes, I have seen him."

                        "Well, since you know his name, I'm sure you've seen him. But have you seen him without a shirt?" Myrtle actually giggled very girlishly.

                        "No, I haven't. And I really don't plan to any time in the future."

                        "Don't get snappy. I think I'll leave you to 'primp', and I'm going to go look at that guy again." With that, the ghost known as Moaning Myrtle, floated away.

            Hermione shook her head and went back to her hair. Once it was dry and straight, she went on to her make-up. She only applied some white eye shadow, black eyeliner, and, after brushing her teeth, some dark purple lip gloss.

            Checking herself in the mirror one more time, Hermione walked out of the bathroom and her room. She walked down to the common room and searched the bookshelves for a book for later.

            Draco heard water running when he awoke the next morning. Stretching and throwing back the covers, he got out of bed and went into his own bathroom. He got into the shower and let the hot water rain down on him. After the incident with Hermione, he hadn't slept as well. He hadn't heard her get out of bed, but his night was plagued with tossing and turning over what was going on in his own head.

            He got out of the shower and changed into his school robes. He let his hair fall into his eyes. He liked it that way more than when it was all slicked back and full of gel. He walked out of the bathroom and into his room. Draco grabbed his own CD player and hid it, along with a few CDs, inside his robes. Then he walked down to the common room.

            The very first thing he noticed was Hermione at the bookshelves. _Typical. I guess that means things are back to normal. Good. But, she does look really pretty today. Wait! Did I just think Her-Granger was _pretty_? Oh God! There is seriously something wrong with me. I have to sit down before I faint._

Draco slumped down in one of the arm chairs. Hermione looked up from the book she was skimming through.

                        "Draco, are you all right?" she asked, looking at him. Then she stopped. And both of them looked shocked.

            Hermione had just asked Draco if he was all right. Not that there was anything wrong with that. But she had called him _Draco_. She never called him that. He looked just as shocked as she was.

                        "I'm fine. I just didn't sleep that well, that's all," he said to her calmly.

                        "Oh. Well, you looked like something was bothering you," Hermione commented softly.

                        "Oh. Well, thanks for asking," he said, looking into her eyes.

            Hermione felt a small shiver run down her spine. "You're welcome," she said in a whisper.

            He was still looking at her. She couldn't shake his gaze. She looked down at the floor. When she looked up again, Draco was still looking at her. To rid herself of his piercing look, Hermione walked out the common room and to the Great Hall.

            She was relieved to see Harry and Ron sitting at the Gryffindor table, laughing and eating. That was what she needed. She needed to be with her friends. She had to forget about her nightmares, she had to forget about what she was doing to herself, and she had to forget about that crazy and confusing moment with Draco.

            Hermione put a smile on her face as she walked over to her two friends. They smiled as she sat down, but frowned when they saw that she was only going to eat two pieces of bacon and a small side of scrambled eggs.

                        "You know, Hermione, they aren't going to run out of food," said Harry in a half-joking half-serious tone.

                        "I know that. I'm just not that hungry this morning. Have we gotten our schedules yet?" she added, changing the subject.

                        "Yeah. I asked McGonagall to give us yours. Here." Harry handed her the parchment.

                        "Double potions this morning? Well, that's not nice. Why does it always have to be with Slytherins?"

                        "Taz jus da wa id iz," mumbled Ron.

                        "I think he said, 'that's just the way it is'," Harry clarified.

                        "Ron, you really shouldn't speak with your mouth full. It isn't attractive," Hermione jokingly scolded.

                        Ron swallowed before asking, "Well, who have I got to impress?"

                        "Well, let's think about that for a minute, shall we?"

                        "Don't go there. She doesn't even sit at this table. Besides, she likes me for who I am."

            Harry was doubled over with laughter. Ron gave him a look and muttered something under his breath.

                        "Ron, c'mon now. Give us a break," said Harry with tears of laughter in his eyes.

                        "Oh yeah? I think I have given you plenty of breaks, Harry. I mean, you _are _going out with my sister."

                        "I know. But if I'm not mistaken, she is the one who helped you and Luna get together in the first place."

                        "Oh honestly! Must we go into this now?" Hermione asked, exasperated.

                        "Don't worry about them," said Ginny Weasley, sitting down beside Harry. "They're guys, it's what they do. Besides, you know you could have a boyfriend if you wanted one."

                        "Yeah right," Hermione mumbled. "I'm going to get my books for Potions. I'll see you guys in the dungeons. See you at lunch, Ginny." Hermione walked out of the Great Hall just as Draco was going in.

            Draco's arm brushed against hers, and she felt a small shiver again. She shook her head and went to get her books.

            Draco brushed past Hermione on his way into the Great Hall for breakfast. Her arm brushed against his, and he had the craziest urge to go back out and talk with her. He shook his head, though, and just kept walking.

            He sat down at his seat and put some bacon, sausages, and scrambled eggs on his plate. He just began eating when he felt a hand on his leg and a purring sound in his ear.

                        "Dracy, darling. I missed you in our common room last night. I can't believe you had to put up with that mudblood," said Pansy Parkinson.

                        "Pansy, why do you continue to come up to me and act like I'm your boyfriend still?"

                        "Because you are, silly."

                        "No, I'm not. I broke it off with you. Remember? I found you with that guy from Ravenclaw in an empty classroom. Of course, I'm glad I found you. It gave me an actual reason, besides the fact that I just can't stand you, to break it off."

                        "I don't understand. That boy from Ravenclaw was a one-time thing. You are the love of my life, Draco."

                        "Sod off, Pansy!" he said, pushing her away from him.

            His appetite suddenly gone, Draco pushed his plate away, grabbed his schedule from Crabbe, and walked out. He decided to get his books for his classes. When he got to the common room, he saw Hermione walking down the stairs from her dorm. She looked really upset. For some reason, it bothered him.

                        "What's wrong Hermione?" he asked. _Did I just call her Hermione? God, I_ am_ going insane. _

                        "I'm fine, Draco," she said bitterly.

                        "You don't act fine. Do you want to talk about it?"

            She looked at him like he was crazy and then said, "Actually, I would rather not. Well, I'll see you in Potions." She walked out.

            _I'm loosing my mind! I call her Hermione instead of Granger, and then I ask if she wants to talk about what is wrong. Good grief, Malfoy, get a grip on yourself!_

            Hermione was the first one to arrive in the dungeons. Draco, she noticed, was second to arrive. They looked at each other, and then looked away. Hermione pulled out her Potions book and sat it on her desk. Soon, Harry and Ron came in and sat beside her. They both started to apologize, and she just told them to forget about it.

            Snape stormed into the room in his usual manner, with his black robes billowing behind him.

                        "For the next month, we will be working with partners that I will choose. You and your partner will be working on the Veritaserum  potion, and when it is finished, you will test it. Each of you will take a few hairs from your partner and turn into them. Now then. Partners. Potter, Parkinson. Longbottom, Goyle. Weasley, Crabbe. Granger, Malfoy…"

            Snape went on to name the rest of the partners. Hermione felt sorry for Neville. He had enough trouble in Potions without being stuck with someone who knew less about the subject than he did. Surprisingly, Hermione wasn't that angry about being stuck with Draco. It was almost like they had made an unconscious truce with the other.

            They were told to move and sit with their partner, and Hermione went and sat next to Draco. They both worked diligently through the class, researching the potion. Hermione had heard a great deal about the potion, and now she was reading and learning more. Hermione never spoke to Draco and he didn't speak to her. It was a mutual silence with no tension in it.

            The tension in the rest of the room, however, was enough to make anyone suffocate. It was so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife. Even Snape seemed even more on edge than usual. It was a miracle that Gryffindor only got ten points taken away that day. Hermione was glad when the class was over.

            One time during the class, while taking notes, she accidentally dropped her quill on the floor. She bent over and picked it up, and in doing so, she accidentally bumped Draco's side. When she sat back up, she noticed he was looking at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Then, the bell rang.

                        "I'm sorry I bumped into you," she said to Draco quietly while putting her books back in her bag,

            Draco merely nodded and walked out of the classroom. She was the last to leave. Harry and Ron had gone ahead to lunch because they had to run and get their other books from their common room. Hermione had packed hers ahead of time.

                        "Miss Granger, I would like a word with you," said Snape suddenly.

                        "Yes, sir?" she asked, hesitantly walking up to his desk.

                        "I noticed you weren't your usual outspoken self today."

                        "No, sir."

                        "I must say, it was quite the relief. With all the other tension in the castle, it's been the rough day."

                        "Sir?" Hermione was becoming very confused. Snape never talked to her, let alone like he was just then.

                        "Miss Granger, I have noticed an interesting change in your behavior today. That's all I am saying. You're dismissed."

            Hermione was walking out of the room when she heard him mutter just loud enough for her to hear, "And by the way, you've got a little bit of blood on your hand."

            Hermione walked calmly out of the dungeons, and then ran with all she had to the nearest bathroom. She sat in the stall and pulled up her shirt sleeve. She muttered a small curse. She should have known to change the bandage. She quickly did this, gathered her composure, and went to lunch.

            Harry and Ron kept giving her weird looks all through lunch.

                        "What?" she finally asked, annoyed.

                        "Are you feeling alright, 'Mione?" Harry asked.

                        "I'm fine. Why?"

                        "You just haven't been eating much today, that's all. And you haven't been insulting Malfoy like you usually do after you've had to be his partner."

                        "He didn't say anything to me, so I have nothing to talk about. The little ferret hasn't done anything for me to do anything about. And I'm just not that hungry anymore. I think I'm in another transitional faze."

                        "A what?" asked Ron.

                        "I'm in between growth spurts, so my appetite has gone down."

                        "Oh."

                        "Hey,' said Ginny suddenly, "do any of you guys know who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is?"

                        "Nope. Have you not had that class yet?" Harry commented.

                        "No. I have it tomorrow first thing. Don't you know, Hermione?"

                        "No. Dumbledore never mentioned who it was. As long as they are anything remotely close to the good teach Remus was, then I really don't care."

                        "Yea, that's true. Well, I guess we had all better get to our next class," said Ron glumly.

                        "Come on, Ron. Herbology isn't that bad. And then we have the rest of the day off."

                        "Even you?" asked Harry.

                        "Yes. I've taken almost all the classes that are offered here already, so I have the same schedule as you guys except on Thursday."

            Draco was eating lunch when Snape came up to him.

                        "I'd like a word with you, Draco," he said quietly.

            Without any questions, Draco followed his house head out of the Great Hall. They walked down to the dungeons, and then Snape motioned for Draco to take a seat.

                        "Yes, sir?" he asked curiously.

                        "Have you noticed anything odd lately?"

                        "Odd, sir?"

                        "Yes, with any of your school mates."

                        "Not really. Well, except for He-Granger. She's been off lately."

            If Snape caught Draco's almost slip-up, he didn't say anything. Instead, he said, "Weird how?"

                        "I don't know. She hasn't been insulting, and she seems really melancholy. Why?"

                        "I'm just curious."

                        "Sir, if I may, you don't really care about Gryffindors, let alone Granger, so why the sudden curiosity?"

                        "I've noticed some things about Miss Granger too, and it is my duty to report any problems to her house head and to the Headmaster," he said matter-of-factly.

                        "Oh. Well, all I can say is what I just told you."

                        "Thank you, Draco. You may leave."

            Draco walked out of the dungeons and to his next class. He really hated History of Magic. For some reason that he couldn't explain, he wanted to be in the greenhouse. He shook his head in frustration. He was definitely not himself. He would be glad when he could go back to the Head's common room and read a book.

            The rest of the day went by in a kind of blur for Hermione. Herbology was as it usually was. She got her house about twenty points that afternoon, and that made her feel good, but she just wanted to be back in the common room. Being in classes had helped her a little, but she was beginning to realize that she would never be the same. The summer had changed her forever.

            When it was finally over, Hermione said she was very tired and retired to her common room without dinner. Harry and Ron seemed concerned, but then they met up with Ginny and Luna, and they told her they would see her later.

            In her own room, she changed into black silky pajama pants and a black silky spaghetti strap shirt and a red silky robe to cover. Then she pulled her hair back into a low ponytail and went down into the common room. There, she curled up in one of the arm chairs with her CD player and a book.

            She didn't hear when Draco came in. She didn't see him looking at her with an unreadable expression. She didn't see him go upstairs. She didn't see him come back downstairs and sit on one of the sofas with his own CD player and book.

            Draco came back from dinner without eating much. He just wasn't hungry. When he walked through the portrait, he saw Hermione curled up in a chair with a book and her CD player. He couldn't help looking at her. _She looks to at peace sitting there. Maybe that's why she reads, to get away from everything. But what would she have to get away from? Snap out of it, Draco. Why do you even care why she likes to read? Why does it matter to you that she looks really pretty sitting there. Wait. Pretty? Oh god! I'm losing it. I have to get upstairs._

Draco went upstairs and changed into black cotton pajama pants and a button-up shirt, left unbuttoned. (A/N: Sorry, can't help myself) He grabbed his own CD player and book and went downstairs. He deliberately avoided looking at Hermione and sat down on the sofa. He opened the book and began to read.

            He must have fallen asleep while reading because otherwise, he was going to have to shoot himself. In his dream, or what he hoped was a dream, _he was in the common room, reading his book, when he heard movement. He turned and saw Hermione walking towards him with a sweet yet sly smile on her face. She sat down beside him and started talking to him as though they were good friends. Then he heard himself say something so weird, that he could have killed himself. Hermione was looking at him, and all the sudden, he blurt out, "Hermione, I love you."_

            When that was said, he sat straight up on the couch. His face was drenched with a cold sweat. He looked around and saw that Hermione was asleep in her chair. She wasn't beside him. He sighed with relief and looked at the clock. It was after midnight. He looked back at Hermione.

            Hermione was having her dream again. She couldn't shake it. Even though she was back at Hogwarts, her haven, she was still having that bloody dream. _She was sitting in a room that she couldn't identify. She was reading a book that she couldn't recall, and then the door burst open. The lights went out except for a single candle. An unidentifiable person was slowly, but purposefully, walking towards her. He smiled down on her, or she thought he did. She couldn't see his face. But he must have been smiling because he was laughing. It wasn't a pleasant laugh. It was cold and without humor. It chilled her to the bone. She was paralyzed. She just couldn't move. She couldn't even turn her head. He came closer still. His face was right in front of hers. His breathing was fast and like a pant. His breath was rancid with the smell of alcohol. He was coming closer still. She screamed._

            She screamed. Draco sat upright again in a flash and looked at her. Her face was like it had been last night, full of fear and anger. Her eyes burst open, and they were full of tears. But she didn't even seem to notice Draco sitting there. She got up off the chair and went upstairs. Draco followed her.

            She was walking right into her bathroom. Before she could close the door, Draco slipped in. She had a knife in her hand, and she was rolling up her sleeve. _Bloody heck! She's going to cut herself, if not kill. _

            "Hermione, what in the bloody name of Merlin are you doing?" he practically shouted.

            She didn't even hear him. She was actually cutting herself. Draco ran and pulled the knife away from her and threw it to the floor. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. She still seemed to not notice him.

                        "Hermione, look at me. Look at me!"

                        Slowly, her eyes came into focus. "Draco? What on earth are you doing?"

                        "Shouldn't I be asking _you _that question?" he asked angrily hold her bleeding arm.

                        She looked down and then back at him. "It's none of your business, Malfoy," she spat angrily. Her words actually hurt for some reason.

                        "You've made it my business. I'm taking you to Snape."

                        "WHAT?"

                        "He asked me if you've been acting weird, and I told him that you had, but this is beyond weird. Come on!"

            He started to pull her towards the door. She pulled against him. He stopped, looked down at her arm which was still bleeding, and pulled her towards him gently.

                        "Let me help you with that," he said.

                        "I don't need your help," she said, but it seemed half-hearted.

                        "Forget who I am for one night in your life, and let me help you. Please, Hermione." He was looking at her, right into her deep chestnut eyes.

                        "Why do you want to help me?" she asked quietly, tears falling from her eyes.

                        "I'm still trying to figure that out," he said honestly. He found a small hand towel and ripped it into strips. He wrapped her arm and looked at her again.

                        "Come with me, now," he held out his hand to her.

                        "No. I'm not going."

                        "Yes, you are. I don't care if I have to drag you out of here." He studied her face before saying, "No one's going to think any less of you. If anything, they'll understand and respect you more. It proves you're human, and not some perfect goddess or something."

                        "I can't. Please, Draco. Please, don't make me." She was begging him, the tears still coming from her eyes. He reached his hand up to her face. She flinched.

                        "I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help you. Please, let me." He reached his hand to her face, and used his thumb to wipe away her tear. "Hermione, whether you like it or not, I am going to take you to Snape. Now, you can come with me, or I can carry you. I highly doubt you weigh much more than a feather."

                        "You wouldn't dare."

                        "Do you want to test that theory?" he looked directly into her eyes.

                        "I don't believe you. I'm not going anywhere with you. Now, just go back into your own room."

                        "Hermione, I'm sorry." Without another word, he picked her up. She started screaming at him, so he put a silencing charm on her. He carried her out of their common room down to the dungeons. Snape was actually in his office, and not in his own room.

                        "Draco, what is going on?" he demanded.

            Without saying a word, he lifted the sleeve of Hermione's shirt. Snape looked shocked, and Hermione looked away from both of them.

            Hermione was so angry. She was angry with Draco for bringing her down to the dungeons. She was angry with Snape, just because he was there. But mostly, she was angry with herself for not knowing Draco had followed her and found out what she was doing to herself.

                        "Miss Granger, do you have an explanation?" asked Snape quietly.

                        "Yes, sir," she replied after Draco took the silencing spell off her and set her feet on the floor.

                        "Well, what is it?"

                        "I don't want to talk about it."

                        "Miss Granger, this is not what I expected from you."

                        "Am I going to be taken off as the Head Girl?" she asked fearfully.

                        "I highly doubt it. But everyone is going to want to know what has been going on in your head."

                        "I can't talk about it," she said, speaking barely above a whisper and looking at the floor.

            Snape got up from his desk and walked to the fireplace. He threw some ashes into the hearth and said, "Headmaster!"

                        "Yes, Severus," said Dumbledore from beyond the flames.

                        "We need to see you right away. Can we come up?"

                        "Of course. I suppose I'll find out who the 'we' is when you get here."

            They all stepped through the flames. Hermione was looking at the floor. Dumbledore sat at his desk and Snape told Hermione and Draco to sit down. They both sat without question.

                        "So, what's this about?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

                        "It seems that Mr. Malfoy stopped Miss Granger from killing herself," said Snape with an unreadable emotion.

                        "I wasn't going to kill myself," snapped Hermione pointedly.

                        "What were you doing then," questioned Draco angrily.

                        "I was only….never mind."

                        "What, Miss Granger?" asked Dumbledore worriedly.

                        "Nothing, sir."

                        "Oh in the bloody name of Merlin!" shouted Draco.

                        "What, Mr. Malfoy?"

                        "Why don't you show them? Huh? I'm sick of this!" he stood up suddenly.

                        "Why are you doing this?" Hermione asked quietly. "Why do you even care?"

                        "I wish I bloody knew," he sighed exasperatedly.

                        "Would someone please enlighten me on what is going on?" Dumbledore asked, trying to remain calm.

                        "This is what is going on, Headmaster," said Snape pulling up Hermione's shirt sleeve.

            Hermione pushed Snape's hand away and said, "Make you both feel better? Hmm? Do you feel better knowing that the book-worm mudblood has lost it all? You want to know what happened?" she was angry. Her hands were balled into fists.

            Draco looked at her. He had never seen this side of Hermione before. It scared him.

                        "Hermione," said Dumbledore quietly, "I have never seen you like this before. He must have done something terrible for you to have changed so much. I don't know what you are going through exactly, but I do know that I want to help you. Don't be ashamed. And you are still going to be Head Girl. But you have got to get a hold of yourself." He looked at Draco and Snape. "Would you take Mr. Malfoy back to his dormitory please, Severus. Miss Granger and I need to talk this out alone."

            After they had gone, Hermione stared at the floor, and let Dumbledore study her. She knew he was trying to read her mind. She was letting him. It was better for her to let him search her mind for the answers than for her to straight out tell him. She was too ashamed to talk about it.

                        "Hermione, why didn't you tell anyone," he said after a time.

                        "I couldn't. I was warned not to tell anyone. Besides, you can't know how ashamed I feel about it all."

                        "But you should have gone to someone. You could have come to me."

                        "I'm sorry. I felt like I had to deal with it all myself. I can still hear and feel it all, inside my head, every waking and sleeping moment. I just can't deal with it anymore." Hermione started to cry.

                        "Hermione, weakness is not determined by tears, nor is it determined by what we can and cannot do. You are not weak. You are very strong. Don't let what happened to you destroy you. Learn from it and move on."

                        "He-he killed my mother," she said in a small voice.

                        "I know. I'm not sure what I can do to help you, but I promise to find a way to get you away from your father."

                        "Thank you, sir. I really am sorry."

                        "Please, just don't hurt yourself again. There are plenty of people here that you can talk to when you need to."

                        "Thank you, sir."

                        "Remember, if you need me, I am here. Now, off to bed."

            Draco was pacing back and forth in the common room when Hermione walked in. It was an awkward silence. Then, without warning, Hermione threw her arms around Draco in a hug. She let go and took a couple steps back.

                        "What was that for?" he asked, slightly flushed.

                        "Thank you. You know, for helping me."

                        "You're welcome."

                        "Why?"

                        "Why what?"

                        "Why did you help me?"

                        "I told you, I don't know."

                        "I think you do."

                        "And I think I don't." Draco started pacing again.

                        "Ok. Well, if you figure it out, then I'd like to know."

                        "Why?" He stopped pacing and looked at her.

                        "I don't know. I guess I just would like to understand why someone who hates me would want to help me."

                        "I don't hate you," he said suddenly. It surprised even him.

                        "Ok, Draco, you don't have to lie. I know you hate me."

                        "I do not hate you, Hermione," he said calmly, taking a step towards her.

                        "You've always acted like it," she said in a barely audible voice.

                        "Well, I used to. Listen, I can't explain it." He stepped back.

                        "Ok. Well, I'm going up to bed. Thanks again, Draco."

            Draco watched her as she went up the stairs and to her bedroom. He felt like slapping himself. _What is wrong with me? What is it? And why the heck did it feel so good when she hugged me. Get a grip! I think I need to admit myself at St. Mungo's or something. _

**_Closing Comments: _**_Well, there it is! Please read and review. I promise to get the next chapter up really soon!_


	4. Scary Revolutions and the New Defense Te...

**_Save Me from Myself_**

**__**

**_Disclaimer: _**_You know the deal. JK Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters and such. I only own the plot._

**_Opening Comments: _**_Well, here it is, the next chapter. I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. I hope you all enjoy this one. Thanks again to all my reviewers! _

**Chapter Four: Scary Revolutions and the New Defense Teacher**

****

          Hermione was sitting in the Great Hall with Harry and Ron. She was smiling and laughing, but she really didn't feel like it. The whole thing with Draco the night before had continued bugging her. Suddenly, Ginny burst into the Great Hall and sat down beside Harry.

                        "Guess who the new Defense teacher is!" she said excitedly.

                        "Who?" they all asked.

                        "I'm not going to tell you. But, it's a way cool teacher."

                        "Tell us, Ginny," pleaded Harry.

                        "Nope. Sorry. When do you all have it?"

                        "Right after lunch," replied Hermione.

                        "Well, then, I would get there early." She was smiling giddily.

            The Golden Trio shrugged and got up to leave. Harry kissed Ginny's cheek before they left. They walked down to the classroom talking about who their teacher might be. When they walked into the classroom, their jaws dropped to the floor.

                        "You're the new Defense teacher?" Harry asked laughing.

                        "And why is that funny?" asked none other than Sirius Black.

                        "It's not," laughed Ron.

                        "Okay, I'll admit, I laughed myself when Dumbledore came to me about it."

                        "What do you think?" asked Hermione.

                        "It's interesting. I keep writing Moony, asking him for advice."

                        "Well, I'm sure you're an excellent teacher. Ginny seems to think so," encouraged Hermione.

                        "Thanks. You know, though, that you all have to call me Professor when others are around."

            The Golden Trio almost fell to the floor, doubled up with laughter. Sirius laughed and grabbed Harry by the belt-loop of his pants and held him in the air. Everyone couldn't stop laughing. Harry looked really funny hanging there.

            The bell rang and they all calmed themselves before the others walked into the class. Everyone else was just as shocked as Harry, Ron, and Hermione had been. Luckily, Gryffindors were the only ones in there. Every Gryffindor had known that Sirius was innocent before anyone else because Harry had told them.

            The class was great. Sirius really was an excellent teacher. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had to control themselves from laughing hysterically when they called him, "Professor," though. Hermione was really glad that Sirius was there. He had become like a father to her in some ways over the years. He and Lupin seemed to genuinely care about what she said, and what happened to her.

            After class was over, Sirius asked Hermione to stay after.

                        "Hermione, can we talk about something?" he asked sitting at a desk beside her.

                        "Sure. What would you like to talk about?"

                        "You," he stated simply.

                        "I don't understand," she said, though that was a lie.

                        Sirius sighed, "Dumbledore talked to me this morning. He told me about last night."

                        "He did?" she asked, looking at the floor.

                        "Yes. I'm really concerned."

                        "I'm sorry."

                        He lifted her chin. "Don't be sorry. I just want you to know that I am here if you need someone to talk to. I know what family problems are like."

                        "Are you angry?"

                        "Why on earth would I be angry?"

                        "I don't know. Some people get really angry about stuff like that. Wait. You won't tell Harry or Ron about this, will you?"

                        "Not if you don't want me to. If you want to keep this between us, then that's the way it will be. You know, Dumbledore is trying to find a way to take you out of your house."

                        "He's doing that for me?" she asked, incredulous.

                        "Yes. He doesn't want you there anymore, and neither do I. We aren't sure what to do yet, but we are thinking of something."

                        "Thank you, Sirius."

                        "You're like family, kid. That's what a real family does. Remember, I'm here if you want to talk."

                        "Ok."

                        "Do you have any other classes that I need to write you a pass for?"

                        "Yea. I have Transfiguration."

                        "Ah. Okay. Well, we don't want you to be any later."

            Sirius wrote her a pass and gave her a small hug. It was kind of a fatherly or big brotherly hug. Hermione walked to her Transfiguration class. McGonagall read the note and then sent Hermione to her seat.

            That class was dedicated to turning tables into cats or dogs. Hermione, as always, did the best. Once, she saw Draco looking at her. When she looked at him, he quickly turned his head away.

            Draco looked up when Hermione walked in the room. She seemed to be doing better that day, but he wasn't sure whether or not it was an act. He was really tired. He had spent all last night trying to figure out what the heck was going on with him. When he came to the only plausible conclusion, he literally slapped himself.

            Draco watched as some of her sleek hair fell into her face. He watched her brush it back behind her ear. When she turned and looked at him, he hurriedly looked away.  He was planning on talking to her later in the evening.

            He couldn't help but watch her. The conclusion he came to last night was scary and confusing, but with each passing moment, he knew that it was correct. Of course that made everything even scarier. And then there was the fact that he was dealing with it pretty well. It was enough to make him crazy.

            But he had to tell her what was going on. After all, she had asked him to. That, and if he didn't, it would kill him because it would be hard living with her without accidentally letting it slip at an inopportune time. His head was racing with everything. It took all he had to concentrate through class.

            When class ended, he practically ran out of the classroom. He was so nervous that he decided to skip dinner and go straight up to the common room.

****

          Hermione had noticed that Draco was acting weirder than usual. He seemed over the edge. He didn't even go to dinner. Hermione looked up at the teachers' table and saw that Sirius was actually there. He looked at her and smiled reassuringly. She smiled back, but wasn't very real about it.

            Harry, Ron, and Ginny must have noticed that something was really bothering her.

                        "Hermione, are you okay? You haven't been yourself today," Harry commented, concerned.

                        "I'm fine, Harry. Thanks."

                        "No you aren't," Ginny said. "You've definitely not been yourself. I mean, look at you. You haven't been eating much and you hardly participate in class anymore. Well, that's what I hear anyway."

                        "You guys, I swear, I'm fine. I've just got a lot on my mind."

                        "You know, you can tell us anything, 'Mione," Ron said.

                        "Yeah, I know. Listen, I'm really tired. I'll talk to you all tomorrow."

                        "You sure?" Harry asked.

                        "I'm sure." Hermione got up and hugged her friends. She gave one last look at the teacher table and walked out of the Great Hall. She knew she should tell her friends, but it was hard. She glumly walked back to the common room. Draco was asleep on the couch when she walked in.

            _What do you know? He actually looks peaceful. _She saw his headphones on the floor and picked them up. She put them on.

_Hey Dad, look at me_

_Think back and talk to me_

_Did I grow up according to_

_Your plans?_

_And do you think I'm _

_Wastin' my time_

_Doin' things I wanna do_

_But it hurts when you _

_Disapprove all along_

_And now I try hard _

_To make it_

_I just want to make _

_You proud_

_I'm never gonna be _

_Good enough for you_

_I can't pretend that I'm_

_All right._

_And you can't change me_

_Cause we've lost it all_

_Nothin' lasts forever_

_I'm sorry I can't be_

_Perfect_

_Now it's just too late_

_And we can't go back_

_I'm sorry I can't be_

_Perfect_

_I try not to think_

_About the pain I feel inside_

_Did you know you used_

_To be my hero?_

_All the days you spent with me_

_Now it seems so far away_

_And it feels like you don't_

_Care anymore._

_And now I try hard to make it_

_I just wanna make you_

_Proud_

_I'm never gonna be good enough _

_For you_

_I can't stand another fight_

_And nothing's all right_

_Cause we've lost it all_

_And nothing lasts forever_

_I'm sorry I can't be_

_Perfect_

_Now it's just too late_

_And we can't go back _

_I'm sorry I can't be   
Perfect_

_Nothing's gonna change_

_The things that you said_

_And nothing's gonna _

_Make this right again_

_Please don't turn your back_

_I can't believe it's hard _

_Just to talk to you_

_But you don't understand_

_Cause we lost it all_

_And nothing lasts forever_

_I'm sorry I can't be_

_Perfect_

_Now it's just too late_

_And we can't go back _

_I'm sorry I can't be_

_Perfect_

_Cause we lost it all_

_And nothing lasts forever_

_I'm sorry I can't be_

_Perfect_

_Now it's just too late_

_And we can't go back _

_I'm sorry I can't be_

_Perfect _("Perfect" By: Simple Plan)

            Hermione listened to the song and looked at the boy who was her enemy. The song was on _repeat_, so it had to mean that he felt that way about his own father. Hermione set the headphones back on the floor and looked at Draco's sleeping form. His shirt was unbuttoned to reveal his chest.       

            Hermione watched as his chest rose and fell with the rhythm of his deep breathing. She felt guilty about having to wake him, but he would have a crick in his neck in the morning if he didn't sleep in his own bed.  Of course, she wasn't sure why she even cared.

                        "Draco," she said softly.

                        Nothing.

                        "Draco," she said a little louder, and tapped him on the shoulder.

                        He just rolled over.

                        "Draco," she said right in his ear.

                        "What?" he jumped.

                        "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought you would be more comfortable in your bed."

                        "Oh." He rubbed his eyes. "Thanks."

                        "It's not a big deal. I didn't see you at dinner. Are you okay?" she sat down beside him.

                        "Fine. I was just tired, that's all."

                        "Okay. Well, I guess I'm going upstairs. I'll see you in the morning." Hermione got up to leave. Draco grabbed her hand.

                        "Wait. There's…um…there's something I need to talk to you about," he said very nervously.

                        "Listen, I don't want to talk about the other night. I just want to forget about it," she said, looking at the couch.

                        "It's only slightly about that. It's really more got to do with what you said to me."

                        "What I said to you? Listen, I'm sorry if I-." He put a hand on her mouth.

                        "Just stop. Let me talk. This is hard enough without you babbling," he said softly, taking his hand away from her mouth. "Do you remember when you asked me why I helped you?"

                        Hermione nodded.

                        "Well, I told you I didn't know. But, I've been doing a lot of thinking. And I think I know now."

                        "What is it?" Hermione asked quietly.

                        "Are you sure you want to hear this?" he asked.

                        She nodded her head shakily.

                        "Well, the thing is, Hermione. I-the thing is…"

**_Closing Comments: _**_I know, I'm terrible. I love cliff-hangers. LOL. Of course, you really smart people have probably figured it out already. Well, I promise to update soon. Please R&R! This chappy was updated thanks to some people who pointed out my terrible artist error. So sorry!_


	5. The Secret and the Nightmare

**_Save Me from Myself_**

**__**

**_Disclaimer: _**_Okay, you know the deal by now. I only own the plot, and everything else belongs to the outstanding JK Rowling._

**_Opening Comments: _**_Okay everyone. Here's the next chapter. I'll bet you're excited after the cliffy on the last one. Couldn't help myself. Anyways. Thanks so much to all my reviewers. Keep your reviews coming! They mean a lot. Well, here it is._

**Chapter Five: The Secret and the Nightmare**

****

                        "Well, the thing is, Hermione. I-the thing is…"

                        "What is it, Draco?"

                        "I really don't know how to tell you this. Please, just don't slap me or anything."

                        "Will you just bloody spit it out already? I promise not to slap you. Okay?" Hermione was getting impatient.

                        "All right!" He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Hermione, I love you."

                        "Y-you what?" Hermione stammered.

                        "I love you."

                        "No. No you don't. Is this some sick joke, Malfoy? That is not funny. I don't care who dared you to say-." She was cut off and pulled back on the couch from which she had been rising, along with her temper.

                        "Stop. Just bloody stop. This is no joke. I thought I was going insane. Listen to me, this isn't a joke, and I'm not so heartless that I would pull a joke like that on anyone. I love you, Hermione. I don't know how it happened, and I don't know why, but it is true. _I love you!"_

                        "No you don't. You can't."

                        "And why exactly can't I?"

                        "Because no one loves me," she said, barely above a whisper, her eyes on the couch.

                        "Bloody Merlin. What has happened to you?" he whispered, lifting her chin so she would look him in the eyes.

                        "Draco, no one loves me, least of all you."

            Instead of relying, Draco pulled her to him. He kissed her gently on the lips and sat back.

                        "Does that tell you anything?" he asked looking into her deep chestnut eyes.

                        "I-I'm sorry, Draco. I really am."

                        "What are you apologizing for?"

                        She rose off the couch. "Because, you fell for the wrong person. You don't want to love me." Before he could pull her back onto the couch, Hermione ran up the stairs and slammed her door shut, the tears streaming out of her eyes and onto the floor.

            Hermione threw herself onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow. _Why did he bloody do that? Why did he say that? Why did he kiss me? No one wants me. No one loves me. As if my life wasn't bad enough without him interfering. I can't take this anymore. _

She shot off her bed and went in search of her knife. It wasn't where it usually was. _He must have it. I need it. But how can I face him? And I doubt he will even give it back to me. But I have to try._ She walked back down the stairs quietly.

            Draco was sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands. He looked up when he heard her approaching.

                        "Where is it Draco?" she asked, trying to keep the anger from her voice.

                        "Where is what?"

                        "You know very bloody well what I mean."

                        "Oh that. You can't have it."

                        "Where is it?"

                        "I gave it to Snape."

                        "You WHAT?"

                        "I wasn't about to let you do that to yourself again."

                        She slammed her body down into an armchair. "You had better get that back," she said through clenched teeth.

                        Draco stood up forcefully and strode over to her. "Why? So you can actually kill yourself? No way."

                        "Why do you even care?"

                        "I thought I had established that already."

                        "But why? We've always been enemies. What changed your mind? And about me at that?"

                        "If I had those answers, I would gladly give them to you. But you know, sometimes, love isn't explainable, and sometimes, love comes from those who we thought we hated. Hermione, look at me." Her head was bowed. When he said to look at him, she buried her head in her hands.

                        "No," he practically shouted. "You are not shutting me out. I won't let you. Now, _look at me!_"

                        Hermione slowly raised her head and looked into the eyes of her once enemy. She looked, for the first time, directly into those icy gray-blue orbs. She saw concern, anger, frustration, and love in those eyes. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She felt like he was looking into her soul. When this came to her, she tore her eyes away. He couldn't let her see.

            It tore at Draco's heart to look into Hermione's beautiful chestnut eyes. There was so much pain there, carefully hidden by a cool indifference. There was fear and sorrow, and something else that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He wanted to hold her in his arms and run his fingers through her gorgeous hair. He wanted her to tell him what was going on: why she kept having those dreams and why she was afraid for anyone to love her.

            He saw the confusion and the inner battle going on through her eyes. She suddenly tore her eyes away from his and looked at her hands as though they were the most interesting things she had ever laid her striking eyes on. He didn't lift her chin again. He couldn't bear to see her cry. It would kill him.

            Draco had never felt love before. Sure, his mother had given him love when she could, but it wasn't the same. He only wished, and Merlin how he wish it, that Hermione reciprocated his feelings.

                        "Hermione," he said softly, "I really wish you would tell me what has been going on. I really care about you. Please, tell me." His voice was almost pleading, and he felt as though he was going to cry and never stop. This was big because _Malfoys__ never cry_.

                        "I can't Draco. You say that you love me, and maybe you really do, I don't know. But if I tell you, then you will stop loving me, if you really do that is, and then you would know. I can't let that happen. Too many people know already."

                        "Hermione, I love you. I can't imagine this feeling going away, and I don't want to. I care so much about you. I just want to know what is making you hurt so much. I can't stand to see you like this."

                        Hermione looked at him. "I-I really can't. I'm sorry. I really am. You don't understand."

                        "Maybe I would if you would tell me."

                        "Look, I want to believe that you love me. And I want to believe that you care enough to hear about…about…everything. But, I have learned, the hard way, that I just can't trust hardly anyone."

                        "What do I have to do to prove to you that I love you, and that I understand?"

                        "I don't know," she sighed heavily.

                        "You said that you learned the hard way that you can't trust many people. I've had that lesson too. And believe me, it was hard. Do you think that my father is an easy person to live with? Do you want to know what he does to me any time I do something that he doesn't like?" Without waiting for her reply, he took off his shirt and showed her his back. There were long scars and bruises all along his back. He put his shirt back on.

                        "You-you're father did that?" Hermione asked in a small voice.

                        "Yes, he did. And only you, Snape, and my mum know about it."

                        "Why did you show me?"

                        "So you would trust me."

                        "It's hard for me."

                        "I know. I know it is. But you will feel better once you talk about it, and I swear to you that I won't tell anyone."

                        "Ok. I'll try. But you have to know that this is really hard for me."

                        "Come sit on the couch with me, and talk to me."

                        Once they were seated, Hermione whispered, "Draco, my father…my father raped me, more than once, actually. He even killed my mother. Every night I dream about it. I never see his face, but I can hear his heavy breathing, and I can smell the alcohol on his breath…" She started to cry. "Afterwards, he would beat me, and tell me I was worth nothing, and that no one could ever love me." She buried her head in her hands.

            Draco couldn't believe it. This beautiful angel had been treated like an animal. He pulled her into his arms. Surprisingly, she put her arms around him. She cried into his shoulder, and he rocked her back and forth. They fell asleep in each other's arms.

            Hermione was having a terrible nightmare. It wasn't the usual one about her father. This one was different. _She was in the middle of a graveyard. There was no one else around. Suddenly, the air was filled with cracks that resounded into the foggy and chilly night. Many figures in robes were gathering in a circle. _

            _Suddenly, a tall cloaked figure walked into the midst of the circle. His voice was eerie and didn't seem human. He spoke, and all others fell silent. The night suddenly became deathly still except for the cloaked figure. Then, a boy of almost eighteen was brought into the middle of the circle. His silvery blonde hair was slicked back neatly, and he was in all black. It was Draco Malfoy._

                        _"You have come to join us, young Malfoy?" the cloaked man asked._

_                        "No. I haven't," Draco relied firmly, but shakily._

_                        "I admire your honesty boy. Tell me, why did you come here then?"_

_                        "My father made me."_

_                        "Your father was wise for once. You would have made a wonderful Death Eater. Instead, I suppose I will have to kill you. But first, I want to have a little fun._ Crucio!_"___

            _Draco fell to the ground, writing and screaming in pain. The curse was lifted, and Draco tried to get to his feet. Then, it was on him again, more powerful this time. He shrieked in an indescribable agony. This was repeated two more times. Then, it all stopped. Draco couldn't even get to his feet._

_                        "You weak little fool. You are going to die now." _

_                        Draco's only response was to spit blood in the direction of the cloaked man, who was none other than Lord Voldemort._

                        _"_Avada Kedavra_!"_ _Voldemort screamed._

_            Draco's body was now still. He was dead. Hermione started to scream at the top of her lungs. She refused to believe he was dead. She tried to run to him, but she couldn't._

            Hermione's eyes opened suddenly. Draco was shaking her and calling her name.

                        "Thank Merlin! What was that about?"

                        "I saw-I saw _him_. You were there too. He-he _killed _you. It was terrible. I screamed and screamed, and I tried to get to you." Her eyes were distant, as though she were back in her dream and her breathing was more of a gasp. A cold sweat was on her forehead, and she began to cry.

            Draco sat stunned. He couldn't believe the dream she had. And even still, he couldn't believe the way she was reacting to it. He took her closer into his arms, until she was practically sitting in his lap. He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes.

                        "I'm here, Hermione. I'm not dead. I'm here, with you. Please, stop crying. You're killing me. Please stop crying."

                        "I'm sorry. I can't help it," she sobbed. "I-I though I lost you forever. It seemed so real. I just couldn't help you. I just sat there and watched. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't help you. I'm so sorry."

                        "There is nothing to be sorry about. It didn't happen. It was all just a dream. None of it happened. Look. I'm here. I'm right here. You have to stop crying. This is killing me."

            She wiped her eyes, but still, some tears came down. He took his thumb and wiped them from her eyes. He looked at her, and she looked at him. Then, completely unexpectedly, Hermione kisses Draco. It wasn't long, but it was sweet and filled with emotion. In those few seconds, Draco knew nothing else except the girl practically in his lap, who had stolen his heart and the feel of her luscious lips on his. It was a feeling he had never known before, and he didn't want it to go away.

            Draco smiled down on her, and she smiled back. It was a radiant smile that filled her entire face. For the first time in his whole life, he could see her aura. It was a beautiful golden color, and it shone even through her eyes. When she smiled, the light grew brighter, and he felt a peace that he had never known before. This girl was his, whether or not she knew it yet. They were meant to be.

            But nothing ever happens without its consequences, and Draco feared what those might be.

**_Closing Comments: _**_I know, it's sort of another cliffy. They are so much fun, though. They keep the readers on their toes. Anyway. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please R&R. _


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